Carry me in your arms
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got
something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to say it. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a
divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she
asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She shouted at me, "
you are not a man!
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my
heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our
house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it to pieces. The
woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her
wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said, for I loved Dew so
dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me, her cry
was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks
seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't
have supper but went straight to sleep and fell fast asleep because I was tired after an eventful
day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just didn’t care so I
turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but
needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month, we both
struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in
a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had
carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the
month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she
was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my
wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks
she has, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body
contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the
first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his
arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the
door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don't
tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the
door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell
the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long
time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was
graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman
who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of
intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the
month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not
find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that
she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit
me,.. She had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said,
Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become
an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come close and hugged him tightly. I
turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then
held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our
wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could
hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that
our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door.
I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the
door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I
moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each
other any more. Now I realized that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am
supposed to hold her until one of us departs this world.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and
burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a
bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and
wrote: I ll carry you out every morning until we are old.
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the
car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for
happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and
do those little things for each other that build a relationship.
Author: Unknown
